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Love, Chacha

Monday, October 7, 2013

MOM to MOM : Short Term Hearbreak

I knew this time would come sooner or later, I just haven't been prepared for it.
My little man was going away for more that 24 hrs. That's a long time, it seems. The saddest part is that I wasn't  able to say good bye,  he was picked up at the babysitter and I was at work.
It was a last minute arrangement so I didn't have time to adjust to reality yet. I had mixed feelings about it, all scrambled  in a matter of seconds.
 I needed a break from Mommy Land but I was going to miss my boy tremendously anyways. Even while I packing his bag I wanted to call off the trip. I couldn't imagine not being able to see his beautiful smile in the morning for three days straight.
 I had to prepare my mind to decide if the short break was good for me and the time spend away with his dad would be better for him and I realized that for both of us it was the best choice, to just let him go.

I've heard many heart broken stories from my friends with kids, but I just didn't realized how hard it was until I experienced it myself. Just recently one my close friend Su had a hard time letting go her 10yrs old with her dad on a two weeks vacation, imagine me with a 2yrs old and only for three days.
The first time I started feeling these kind of heart broken moments was just two months ago, for his 2nd birthday. It was only a couple hours but to me it fell like days have passed, it's a little crazy to feel like that I know, but a mother can't help it.

My little one and  my other best friend's birthdays fall the same day. So, during the week we planned to go out for dinner and drinks, while my boy's birthday celebration was scheduled the following Saturday. We had a great time out, up until I got home that night and I realized he wasn't there. He was staying with his babysitter. I wanted to go on and pick him up at 3am but I knew that was impossible.  I needed a reality check! I was heart broken for my boy's absence, so I cried until I fell asleep. Over all, it was a good idea to be away for a couple days, especially for him (I always miss him on a daily basis when I'm at work).

 I know that with time it will be easier to let go but for now short term heart breaks will be coming.

Love, Chacha